Written By Guillaume Huni, BJJ black belt and head instructor of Kimura Academy in Serbia.
You become a BJJ geek when BJJ is basically your life and is all you can think about. These signs will let know if you are a true BJJ Geek:
1. When a kid is playing with you and trying to choke you, you stop them, correct their technique saying “Hold on kid, let me show you the proper technique for choking somebody.”
2. You pronounce the word Jiu-Jitsu (jew-jit-su) as “zhuzhitsu.” and with a Brazilian accent.
3. When you’re explaining a Jiu-Jitsu technique to someone, you develop a slight Brazilian accent. When they get the technique right, you congratulate them with a “Isso! Excellentch. Muito bom. Boa!”
4. Whenever you meet someone from Brazil, you get excited and tell the you train”BRAZILIAN Jiu-Jitsu” and that you speak some Portuguese etc.. Then you realize that they don’t really care and that they barely know what you are talking about.
5. When talking to someone, you’re always sizing them up and wonder how it would be to grapple them or roll them up in pretzel.
6. When you meet someone, you always check their ears to see if they’re a grappler.
7. Every body becomes “my friend’ or “my brother”.
8. When you see a really tall person, you think how easy it would be to double leg takedown them
9. If ever you overhear someone say the word ‘Jiu-Jitsu’ you immediately get super over excited and question them about it.
10. When you’re in the street/shopping mall, and you see someone with a BJJ Tshirt, you always approach them with a ‘Sup bro, where do you train?” while pointing to their shirt. When they answer you with a “Oh no, I just got this as a gift” You walk away disgusted with “Tssss”.
11. You like to grapple with your pet dog or cat. They enjoy it too.
Judo for BJJ final
12. When you meet someone who tells you that they’re a black belt in karate or taekwondo, you’re not impressed
13.When you meet someone who tells you that they’re a division 1 wrestler, you are impressed.
14. When you’re sitting on the couch and your wife comes to hug you, you greet her with an open guard instead of a hug.
15. You are damn proud of your cauliflower ears. Bdges of honor.
17. You teach your baby daughter how to escape a rear naked choke, mount, side control etc..
18 You wish you could redecorate the whole house in a BJJ academy style complete with mats.
19. Your Gis are covered in patches, of your academy, your friend’s academy, various BJJ gear companies.
20. You walk around the house in your Gi because that’s the most comfortable attire for you.
21. You spend the whole day looking at BJJ videos and come to training with a list of new cool moves to try out.
22. Your significant other has told you “It’s me or jiu-jitsu” on multiple occasions but they never win…
23. After all these years, your significant other still believes that the bruise on your neck is a hickey…
24. When you go to the seamstress, she looks at with despair: “Again? Another gi to patch up??”
25. You pronounce words beginning in “R” with an “H” sound.
26. Your wardrobe consists mainly of BJJ tournament T shirts, fight shorts and other various fight brands.
27. Your dog is called ‘Rickson’ or ‘Kimura’
28. You’ve drained your cauliflower ear so many times you’ve overcome your fear of needles.
29. You’re always asking a friend, “Hey can I try this move on you” and they are terrified every time.
30. Your family members are scared of hugging you as it always evolves into a grappling session.